Strangers Diary - Free Diary Online

I think about him all the time. What is wrong with me? I am not one to be lovesick... Am I admitting I'm "lovesick"?

I'm really sorry for being a cocktease. I don't enjoy your frustration and pain. I feel like a bitch. A cruel, sadistic bitch. I'm sorry. I will make it up to you, I promise.

I am feeling very excited. The feeling you get when you have everything done and nothing to worry about. It's a nice feeling, isn't it?

It is so unfair how much power he has over me. I love it.

Isn't it strange how we can be in love with someone we don't even know? And by "in love" I mean two different things. 1) Want to fuck. and 2) Want to marry. Oh wait, 3 different things... 3) Both.

I am a 3.

I am "romantically" involved with someone whom I've known for almost 5 years now. We've been off and on but always kept a strange connection. I know it sounds cliche, but, I've honestly never felt this way about or with someone before. It's almost like we have the ability to get in each others minds and inner workings. Recently he admitted to me that during our last "rendezvous" he was seeing other women on the side. I have no right to be angry because we never made anything official or public, but it still hurts me. He also admitted that he enjoyed being able to manipulate my emotions and the ability to always know exactly how I felt. I don't want things to end because of something that happened in the past. I feel really good about this time around and don't want to make anything off kilter because of an incident only I feel strongly about. I just dont like the feeling of being played and the fact that I followed him like a puppy. I want to be the one in control.