A Strangers Diary

lovely | Post by Stranger #147

ha... she is sooo amazing, too bad I'm on the friend ladder... we're hanging out on Halloween... do I make a move even though I'm on the friend ladder and could fuck up our relationship, or do I wait for her to make a move?

so | Post by Stranger #147

I Love mudkipz, just fyi... also its over 9000!!! and the game.

Magic! | Post by Stranger #147

I'm a street magician...
but with sites like the ellusionist and magic penguin... so is everyone else in this god damned world! every trick I have, every illusion that I use, every piece of mentalism in my book is now USELESS! Fuck off internet, don't you understand I live off my magic? its my job, its how I make my money, but I go to a kids birthday party and his little buddy tells everyone how I do everyone of my tricks and the mother asks for her money back NO FUCK OFF no refunds! why don't people understand that magic is not about learning from some stupid kit or some DVD you buy offline but about learning from a master, someone who can teach you the simple stuff and teach you to make your own tricks, I make a video of my OWN NEW EFFECT and a week later someone has cracked how its done and is selling the DVD with "Special Thanks" to me? No you do not have the right to sell my trick, and one of these days if I ever make enough money again to get a lawyer you're being sued for copyright infringement... thank you for reading my rant.

... | Post by Stranger #147

If I killed myself, would they still say things, like I overbooked myself today sorry I can't see you, or press the ignore button on their phones? would they still say things like what about tomorrow or how about next week sometime, then when it comes around tell them they forgot?

Human | Post by Stranger #147

Fuck the Human condition, it doesn't exist... at least not in me.

Post by Stranger #147

how does suicide start? I've thought about ways I could do it, but in the end I still wanna live, is that good? or is it bad that the thoughts are even there

Duuuude. | Post by Stranger #147

I feel lonely, hopefully this turns in to something, I would love it if she says yes. she's considerably younger than I am but thats okay.

The worst day and the best? | Post by Stranger #147

Cinco de Mayo, normal day off work until 3pm when I go see Dr. White, he tells me I have type 1 diabetes, its a late onset, seeing as I am 22... its been in my system hiding since I was born then something set it off, we're not sure what. This really sucks cause of the things in my life that have to change

1. Smoking, I'm one of the few smokers who enjoys it but now I'm super susceptible to heart attack and high blood pressure
2. Drinking, I'm not a huge drinker but I do enjoy it every now and then, but it screws with your blood pressure and again the whole cardio vascular system problems
3. Diet, I now have to count carbs and watch my intake of sugars
4. DKA, Diabetic Ketoacidosis, I have early signs of this disorder, what is happening is my body can't process the sugars and proteins I am giving it and so it is basically eating my lien muscle tissue, this has a 50% fatality rate
5. Life style in general, I have to change my entire routine in order to accommodate for this disorder, eating habits, exercise, sleep, all of it. On top of that I'm probably being kicked out of the army will be able to keep my benefits but will probably lose my security clearance and because of that, my job which requires a secret clearance minimum...
6. Finance, Diabetes is very expensive, around 200$ a week. Sometimes more.
even though I was diagnosed yesterday I'm not sure its hit me yet... I've been crying on and off for the last 28 hours, my mother treats me like I'm dying now, it seems the only person who really understands what I'm going through is my Aunt who also is a late onset type 1 diabetic... I have some okay support but I want more... what am I going to do?