Strangers Diary - Free Diary Online

I fucked up. I huffed again. For the first time in 3 months. I cut again. I want it all to stop so I started smoking.
I'm destroying my body and I don't even care.

This is too back-and-forth for me. Since I'm not good enough for him, I feel like I should stop eating again. When will this end?

He told me I'm beautiful. I decided to eat today. He doesn't even realize how much he's saving my life.

I can't step on the scale anymore because I'm afraid of gaining weight.

I am well aware that letting myself eat hardly anything every day to lose weight is a horrible approach to weight loss. I lost 1 pound each day. I've lost 8 pounds and I'm down to 124. My mom still says I'm fat. When will I be thin in your eyes, mom? Don't you see that your words are LITERALLY killing me?

Cutting. Alcohol. Drugs. Anorexia.
First came cutting when I was 13.
I substituted that with alcohol when I was 14.
I started doing drugs at 15.
And I stopped eating at 16.
My life is falling apart.

I've lost 5 pounds in one week.

I've hardly eaten in the last 4 days and I've lost 2 pounds. I've never felt so good and bad at the same time. Good in the sense that I've accomplished losing weight. Bad in the sense that I have never felt so physically miserable and weak in my life. When will I get through this phase? I wish I was skinny again.

I'm a sixteen year old girl and I weigh 130 pounds. My mom and sisters tell me I'm fat every single day. I'm starting to believe it's true. I don't want to eat anymore.