Strangers Diary - Free Diary Online

The guy that got me drunk the other night... I realized he was only using me for sex. When I didn't put out, he told me we're over. I've been in love with him for a long time and I've tried to keep this from getting me down. But it seems impossible. It's so hard to stay strong when you really need to most. I try to remember that what feels good now hurts in the end. I need to stop getting caught up in the moment. But to be completely honest, he's the only reason I'm still alive; he saved me from my anorexia, he made me believe I was beautiful. And now it all seems like one big lie.

I always make promises I can't keep. Maybe that's why I'm such a disappointment to everyone...

I'm 16 years old and drunk for the first time at the moment. I feel numb. Am I making a mistake?

I'm only 16 years old and I've already had a sick addiction to huffing.
I had to fight and overcome the addiction alone.
I only regret it because now and again,
I still get cravings for it.

Sometimes I wonder how people would act if I told them that I'm bisexual. Thinking about it scares the hell out of me.

I don't believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Life isn't about trying to find true love. Love is something society made up to feel useful and wanted.

I believe that 2 hands at work will accomplish more than 10000 hands clasped in prayer. I can't believe in a God like I once did.

But every time I look at my legs, I'm reminded with scars of how weak I once was. They'll always be there. I have to see them every day, and when I wear shorts, I get to hear other people ask what happened. I regret nothing, I just wish my scars were only on my heart, not on the surface.

My mom and step dad fight all the time.
4 days ago, the fight was my fault.
I don't think he's coming back this time.
I'll never forgive myself.
I'm so sorry mom.

Whoever said texting is stupid might be partly right. But I never knew how powerful it could actually be until now. I'm "anorexic," depressed, and I believe I'm completely worthless. Last night one of my best friends was texting me. He thinks I'm amazing. He said "Why can't more girls be like you?" Suddenly I don't feel so horrible about myself. A simple text changed me, might even be enough to save me, and he has no idea.
Thank you.