Strangers Diary - Free Diary Online

Today, I realize that my life isn't as good as I try to pretend it is. I lie so well to other people, and I end up trying to believe it myself.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE STRANGERS GONE???

I am so scared to leave Salt Lake again, but I want nothing more than to show him how much I love him.

That's right. Once more, I have fallen for a person that lives far away from me.

Fuck my life...

I dream of kissing him, and wake up afraid to even hold his hand. What's the matter with me? It's like I'm back at the naive girl stage, too shy to do anything.

I didn't kiss him today. Thought about it, but I kissed his forehead instead.

Forget my cold. I am going to kiss him this week.

I woke up and immediately wanted to call him. But I didn't. Because I don't want to be a bother.

I wish I didn't have a cold. It would make the idea of kissing him less embarrassing, and more of something I could do. Then I could have a decisive answer, instead of an "Aww... I don't want to get him sick."

YES OR NO, ME. YES OR NO.

Today, I thought about him while I was washing my face. He was with me when I bought my face scrub, and he giggled over the fact that it was called "Morning burst". I laughed out loud, and then found myself staring at my image, realizing that for the first time in years, there's happiness in my eyes.

Sometimes, when we are hanging out, I look up at his face, and I get the tremendous urge to go up on my toes and kiss him. Startle the hell out of him. Then, the next moment, I remember that he's completely innocent, and I'd be stealing this kiss unawares.

He may not mind, but then again, he might take it the wrong way!

Gods I wish I knew how he felt so that I didn't have such indecision!

After that memory, I washed the soap off my face, then smiled, and went to text him. I don't think I could stand not hearing from him for more than twelve hours!

I want to tell him that he makes my heart beat so fast. But I don't want to get his hopes up. Because it might just be because he is so kind to me. I'm not used to anyone giving a damn. He was like an answer to a prayer I didn't even know I had.

And I can't tell him a blasted thing, because I never want to hurt him.