Strangers Diary - Free Diary Online

It's been said that if you're not surrounded by people that encourage you, accept you as you are, and celebrate you, then you should go elsewhere to find that for yourself. But what if those people are your family, the people that are supposed to unconditionally love you?

He told me I'm beautiful. I decided to eat today. He doesn't even realize how much he's saving my life.

My favorite place in the world. Jon's bed. Even when him and i were just bullshitting around I loved that bed. How the sheets felt across my naked body with the breeze from the window. Omg i loved that feeling especially waking up next to him is perfection. But now i look at that bed and see that naked girl and her cheap 5 for $25 victoria secret thong. I really don't think shes attractive and would NEVER be threatened by her under different circumstances but i am because of how he looks at those pictures as art and something so beautiful. Like what am i? A fun fuck? I'm your girlfriend. Why don't you want to take my picture? I get it. You're an artist. Naked women = art. But on the bed we sleep in you have to photograph some chick? With her flat tits and flat ass. Like why don't you wanna take my picture? I can't stop asking myself that question. What is so great about her? My whole life i've been viewed as "the bad girl" with "bad thoughts." I'm the wild child. The kinky one. And now my boyfriend looks at me like some innocent angel. I hate it. I'm not that girl. I'm a sexual being and i'm extremely offended that you won't take my picture or want to video tape us while we have sex. You don't look at me like art. This is killing my self esteem. He thinks he's suffering by having to listen to me? He only hears what i say out loud I hear that and every single thought inside my head. It drives me crazy. I'm not that girl to even be threatened by other girls but these pictures make my stomach curl and you immediately become unattractive to me. Of course i sit here and wait for him like some dumb broad. I seem to write most of my entries within this time period. I need a job. Something to keep me busy. Staying home waiting for him makes my head spin. Idk how housewives do it. I would have to work. This is bullshit. Does that turn you on? You say it doesn't but there's gotta be a reason why you won't delete the pictures. You offered to delete them. I told you forget it. I was stupid I should have let u delete them. I hate them. They mock me. Every time I look at them it's like that girl is laughing in my face. Oh my god i hate this relationship. It drives me crazy I've never felt so low in self esteem my whole life. I guess it's because i always dated men i knew i was better then but Jon is like my equal. We have the same mind set. That's what scares me. Sometimes i dont see the harm in kissing someone if I go on a vacation or something but like if he ever did that i'd be crushed. I need more activities in my day...

I am a nerd who has not seen the original star wars

1 in 4 people who start doing oxycontin, get clean. I feel lucky to be that 1 person. When I was on drugs I felt so hopeless, I didn't think I would ever be able to stop. Today I can say, I am stronger. Yes, I hate remembering the times when I was messed up all the time but I don't regret any of it. It made me who I am today.

I know we said we'd do all those things together but i fear that its you that will change your mind and im preparing myself for that.

I hate how obsessed Utah is with the LDS General Conference thing. Suddenly, my facebook is filled with people from my past commenting on how being homosexual is wrong.
Cause apparently that's what general conference was about this year. Most of the talks were frowning upon people in their natural state. And it makes me so mad, because these people wouldn't even BEGIN to accept me for who I am if I told them who I really was.
A church that preaches nothing but love and acceptance sure seems to have a hard fucking time loving and accepting others for what they are and who they might be.
/rant

I've just read several of these entries and come to a drastic conclusion

the world needs more kittens and puppies. I would definitely feel better if i had something non- human that would still love me. Humans can be so mean to one another.

Hope all of you people out there are doing ok.

I'm a street magician...
but with sites like the ellusionist and magic penguin... so is everyone else in this god damned world! every trick I have, every illusion that I use, every piece of mentalism in my book is now USELESS! Fuck off internet, don't you understand I live off my magic? its my job, its how I make my money, but I go to a kids birthday party and his little buddy tells everyone how I do everyone of my tricks and the mother asks for her money back NO FUCK OFF no refunds! why don't people understand that magic is not about learning from some stupid kit or some DVD you buy offline but about learning from a master, someone who can teach you the simple stuff and teach you to make your own tricks, I make a video of my OWN NEW EFFECT and a week later someone has cracked how its done and is selling the DVD with "Special Thanks" to me? No you do not have the right to sell my trick, and one of these days if I ever make enough money again to get a lawyer you're being sued for copyright infringement... thank you for reading my rant.